Saturday 8 May 2010

In-betweenery.

The personal is not *always* political, and try as I may there's no way I can take the abrupt demise of my long-term relationship with my partner and best friend, the fact that all my remaining close friends are leaving London this week and my related and impending imminent fucking homelessness and twist them around and turn them into a gritty urban fable that seems to say something profound, in a post-adolescent sort of way, about modern politics. It's a bugger, is what, and that's all.

I could make some sort of comment here about how my heart feels a little like the rest of the country at the moment: mightily bewildered and exhausted and facing a number of confusing new options all of which seem to offer their own special flavour of grim and crawling horror, peppered with a few small delights and the hope that, in a year or two, everything might be alright again, all overlaying a sort of hard and horrible yearning for change, any sort of change, gods.

But that would be trite, and over-simplistic. It's just a bugger.

So this is by way of an apology for what may be scatty posting here over the next few weeks, whilst I get my stuff together and attempt not to have a total meltdown. My headspace is worse at this point than it has been for years, and I really need to sort my shit out without being a bitch to anyone or making some godawful internet gaffe like, I dunno, getting piss drunk and posting naked pictures of myself weeping artsily in a bath.

I'll be fine, I always am, and with any luck by the time I'm properly back the damn country will have sorted itself out too. I'm quietly hopeful.

27 comments:

  1. Does "I'll be fine" mean that you have or have not arranged temporary couch/sleeping bag space somewhere?

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  2. Hope everything works out as well as possible. Look after yourself.

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  3. Sorry to hear things are tough right now... *hugs*

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  4. Much love from a complete stranger, Laurie. Hang in there. You're damn bright, capable and compassionate and a great many people are full of admiration and respect for you. All the best.

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  5. I hope things get better for you soon.

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  6. Not (necessarily) for publication: http://www.homelesslondon.org/details.asp?id=LP381

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  7. Aw crap. *hugs* and good luck sorting out everything.

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  8. I could reiterate what thespyglass said, I am sorry that so much is going wrong for you and I just hope that you are able to sort it all out. I hope you are able to find some people who can be a support at this time and although I expect it will be of no comfort at all I hope that you know that you have a lot of loyal readers who will wishing you all the best

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  9. I'm sorry to hear this. Hope you're okay, looking forward to seeing you back soon.

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  10. Good luck with your problems. Life can be a bugger but this too shall pass. Come back when you are ready, we will be very glad to have you back.

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  11. I'm with thespyglass and Simon... another loyal reader hoping that things get better and that you're back properly soon. x

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  12. More links:

    http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/On_a_low_income/DG_10018926

    https://lha-direct.voa.gov.uk/Secure/Default.aspx

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  13. If you're not already aware, the Shelter helpline is 0808 800 4444: they're an awesome resource if you're facing homelessness. Give them a ring, explain your situation.

    Also, contacting your nearest Citizens Advice Bureau is almost certain to improve your situation. They're very good at knowing who to contact for help.

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  14. Sorry to hear things are crappy at the mo. Stay strong. In the spirit of '97 'things can only get better...'

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  15. Not really sure what to say apart from hope to be reading your stuff again with you back in a good place.

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  16. Again, best wishes from a stranger. Really sorry you're having a hard time, I sympathise about the headspace, but from your writing no one would guess - you have such a brilliant engagement with everything you write about. Hope you will be back on your feet before long.

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  17. Snap out of it lass.Your approaching homelessnes is the least of you worry,as your talent will never be without a roof.The other the emotional, always pain,no matter your age.Daft but time will take care of that,as will your eye.

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  18. Isn't it lovely how, even when friends/partners in the 'real world' are moving away, online friends are always there to give you some virtual hugs and help you on your way to finding your smile again? We may not know each other in person, but I know your writing and tweeting so I feel I'm qualified to add my happy thoughts to the comment pile.

    As a friend of mine once said, the best thing about hitting rock bottom is finding the trampoline down there that helps you bounce back up again.

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  19. You're right - you'll be fine. But it's an arse, and I'm sorry, and thinking of you. Hope things start to improve swiftly. x

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  20. Wish you luck. You'll need it. And thanks for your honesty. It's so rare these days.

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  21. Take care

    redpesto

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  22. Sorry to hear you broke up. Hope it all works out.

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  23. More links:

    http://england.shelter.org.uk/

    http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

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  24. I'm sorry to hear that you're in such a rough place right now, and I'm wishing you the best . . .

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  25. I may not always agree with you, but you've always tried to be fair to people. This is rotten, and the only upside is that you will get over it. Except for really big things (like death or serious health problems), these problems will fade away when your life improves. I had a problem with accommodation and with my studies and with a close friend when a family member was pregnant. But fate was kind and took care of the most important thing, ie the pregnancy, the family member's twins were born a bit early but healthy. And now I have my qualification and a nice council flat and I spoke to the friend just the other week although we are no longer so close.

    I know I can't prove that things will improve, but you are a strong person who will fight hard to make things better.

    Please accept a cyber-hug and, dare I say it, a cyber-cup cake.

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